'There's no manual on how you cope with dying': mum making every moment count

Pain that cruelly robs her of what little time she has left with her husband Aaron, their two young boys, family and friends.

"The pain is horrible - that's the worst part," the 32-year-old admits.

"Emotionally I'm okay... most days."

Today is not a good day, Brianna confesses as we sit in the lounge room at her sister and brother-in-law's home on the outskirts of Albury, NSW.

Wincing in pain, she's finding it hard to move, and Aaron cradles her gently and protectively, never leaving her side.

The couple and their sons Nash, 12, and Cruz, 8, moved back from Melbourne a week ago to be closer to family after finding out Brianna has just months to live.

Having endured a six-year roller-coaster battle with melanoma, a scan on June 24 revealed the cancer had taken a drastic turn, spreading aggressively to nearly all the bone mass in Brianna's body, her liver, lymph nodes, breast "and more".

Despite the "valiant efforts" of the team at the Peter MacCallum Cancer Centre, nothing more can be done.

Almost immediately, the couple "made a conscious decision to come home".

Between family and work, "no one batted an eyelid" at the sudden upheaval of lives.

"It just shows how amazing they are," Brianna says. "My family have been my lifeline and I'm so lucky to have them."

Brianna, Aaron and the boys have moved in with her sister Denika Baldwin, her husband Mitch and their three children.

It's crammed and chaotic - but that's just how Brianna likes it.

Mum and dad (Allison and Steve Winley) live nearby, while Aaron's parents (Noel and Sally Livermore) and his sister Bec are down the road on a property at Burrumbuttock.

"It's this," Brianna says, waving towards the room where the cousins are playing noisily, dogs are getting in the way, the television's on in the background, and Allison is making everyone cups of tea.

"It's that everyone's together."

Little things count the most now.

"Every moment is precious," Brianna reflects.

"It's the fact I can sit here and talk to you with my nephews running around, it's getting take-away, it's going to the farm, it's watching the rugby on a Friday night.

"It's the kids coming up and giving you a sneaky side hug..."

Aaron and Brianna say they have been open and honest with their boys about her cancer.

"It's one of those things you don't want to smack them in the face with every day," she adds.

"Nash knows, Cruz doesn't so much; we've kept it age appropriate.

"But we do reiterate that on days like this, when it's been rainy for three days and they're going stir crazy cooped up with their cousins and mum, it's actually a little bit beautiful."

Friends and the local community have rallied around the family with a GoFundMe set up by the local football club the Brock-Burrum Saints to support "one of our own".

Brianna and Aaron are both life members of the club where Aaron played 250 games for the Hume footy team while Brianna served on the committee, as a coach and premiership-winning netball player.

Aaron's sister Bec is the current co-coach of the Brock-Burrum Saints.

Close friend Amy Zuber, of Arch and Willow coffee van, will also hold a fundraiser on Saturday, August 24.

"You can't live out this way and not have a massive support network," Brianna says of the outpouring of love and help.

"But this isn't about me - I look at these fundraisers as something for Aaron and the boys.

"You'd be surprised at how little assistance there is with something like this."

Aaron shakes his head when asked how he's holding up.

"It's incredibly hard," he says, his voice breaking.

"It's one foot in front of the other; I just get up and try to make every day the best it can be.

"We don't look too far ahead ..."

"We can't," Brianna interjects sadly.

"But I don't know anybody who has been loved the way he loves me.

"I can see it in his eyes ... you don't even need to speak."

It was high up on the bucket list and thanks to a serendipitous friendship, one of Brianna's life wishes was granted earlier this month.

The Livermores spent a dream day out at the Carlton Football Club on July 4, enjoying special behind-the scenes tours and interactions with players.

It all came about due to the fact Brianna's oncologist and (Carlton player) Sam Docherty's oncologist happen to be mates.

"It was one of the top things we wanted to do," says Brianna, who converted Aaron to Carlton supporter status a while back.

"It was so cool for the four of us; the kids got thoroughly spoilt and watching them kick the footy at training was pretty special.

"I cried for the first hour; and I didn't make it out of the car park at the end of the day before falling asleep."

Brianna admits she still has days where she feels angry about the hand that's been dealt to her.

She tries really hard not to cry too much in front of the boys.

"I have been hysterical," she says.

"When I have those moments I go and sit in the shower for 25 minutes."

She insists there is no right or wrong way to deal with a terminal diagnosis.

"There's no manual on how you cope with dying," she reflects.

At times, carrying the weight of everyone's collective sadness is "exhausting".

"We are all just trying to hold each other up," she says.

Aaron and Brianna were newly married when she spotted a tiny little mole on her leg in 2017.

She was 25 when she was first diagnosed with melanoma and what followed was a roller-coaster journey of surgical and medical intervention.

From immunotherapy and experimental clinical trials to chemotherapy and radiation, Brianna had a period where she was declared cancer-free, only to be hurled back into the horror of advanced metastatic melanoma skin cancer.

She loathes the word "journey".

But she says she hopes her story might serve as a galvanising reminder to everyone to get regular skin checks.

"I'm dying and I can't stop that but if I can help others ...," Brianna says.

"You pay your rego every year - get a skin check.

"You change the batteries in your fire alarms - get a skin check.

"It's the most simple thing we can do for one of the most serious, recurring cancers."

On good days, Brianna has started sending messages to friends and extended family who have been an integral part of her life - "and got us to this point".

"I don't want them to question how much I love them," she says.

Making videos to leave her boys, well that's been a lot tougher.

"It's hard to do it without crying," she confesses sadly.

"When I have something to say, that's when I do it."