In life we're told that we can enjoy everything ... as long as it's in moderation.
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But in our modern world, what does moderation actually mean? Is my idea of moderation, different to your idea of moderation and when it comes to alcohol, is moderation actually just a myth?
We've just finished Dry July, when many people abstained from alcohol for the month, but as you reflect back on a dry month, what changes will you actually make to your drinking habits?
Since gaining my accreditation as one of Australia's first grey area drinking coaches and working with clients all over the world to change their drinking habits, I've been constantly astounded by the number of people who come to me seeking to moderate their drinking.
Of the hundreds of people who reach out to me for help, more than 90 per cent want to become a normal or moderate drinker. The most common request is that people just want to be able to enjoy a drink "now and then". It's rare that anyone comes to me with the goal to stop drinking forever.
But why is that? Why do we hang on to the belief that our life will somehow be better if we can moderate our drinking? And if we've never been a moderate drinker in the past, why do we think we can suddenly become one now?
Of course, a lot comes down to the marketing and the subliminal messaging that we are all exposed to from such a young age - we believe that alcohol is required at every celebratory occasion, that we need alcohol to have fun, to socialise, to relax and as a reward at the end of a hard day.
On top of this, even the health care messages we receive promote moderate drinking as part of a healthy lifestyle.
The issue is that most people who come to me for help with their drinking have never been moderate drinkers. The fact remains that people who don't have a problem with drinking don't even think about their drinking - they simply enjoy a drink when they want and abstain at other times.
While those who have a more problematic relationship with alcohol get constantly caught in the cycle of making and breaking the rules around their drinking, believing it's about willpower and trying harder to just stick to just one.
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But neuroscience shows us that it doesn't have anything to do with willpower or effort - once the neural pathway has been created that tells us we need alcohol to gain confidence, relieve stress, manage anxiety or numb uncomfortable emotions, it will never go away. And we are always going to want just one more...
Which is why for so many people (myself included), abstinence ends up being much easier than moderation.
Couple this with the fact that the latest research shows just one alcoholic drink a day can lead to Alzheimer's Disease or Parkinson's Disease, and we really have to question why we are constantly being sold the idea that alcohol is fine in moderation.
The fact remains, there is no safe amount of alcohol when it comes to our physical health.
And no period of abstinence is going to reset our brain's neural pathways.
Many celebrating the end of a Dry July will be surprised that their drinking quickly returns to the same (or higher) levels; because we hold a strong belief that a period of abstinence will somehow change our mindset around alcohol. But it rarely does.
And based on the work I've been doing over the past two years; I believe that moderation is a myth and the normal drinker that many aspire to be simply doesn't exist.
- Sarah Rusbatch is a grey area drinking coach, and co-founder of Free Spirit Drink Co.