THE HOUSE collapsed in on him.
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When Bradley Clifford woke up, he couldn't move or speak.
It was another episode of sleep paralysis, brought on by a traumatic experience at a search and rescue mission at a house fire in Tamworth.
"I went through the house and there was a blanket over the baby's cot, in darkness you can't make out anything but shapes," Tamworth firefighter Mr Clifford said.
"Seeing this blanket rolled up I thought there was a kid in there, it was just a blanket but it triggered my brain about stuff I had seen when I was in the State Emergency Services.
"I felt a bit off coming out, I sat down and didn't feel right in the stomach, I got home that night and kept thinking about it and I cried a little bit but thought I'd be right. That's when the dreams started happening."
The experience isn't uncommon, and it's expected hundreds more firefighters will join his ranks after horror blazes have ravaged the state - destroying homes and worse, taking lives.
Every 4.3 weeks an emergency service worker dies by suicide and horror bushfires across the state could contribute to higher numbers.
Those who experience trauma will usually have their natural resilience kick in after a few days, but for some the effects can worsen and lead to post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, depression or substance abuse.
Once Mr Clifford told his mates about it he started to get help.
"My advice to others is not to be scared, you're not weak because you put your hand up to get the help you need," he said.
"The sad reality is some people don't put their hand up and get to a point where they aren't here anymore."
A Beyond Blue report found first responders have an increased risk of psychological distress, due to repeated exposure to trauma.
Pheonix Australia head of policy and practice Nicole Sadler said the issue with NSW Rural Fire Service volunteers will be that many of them live in the communities that have been deeply impacted.
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"What we suspect happens is that people who are doing okay continue to volunteer," she said.
"Those well enough to stay do, we are concerned about the people who disappear."
The federal government has put $76 million toward mental health support for bushfire affected people.
- If you are struggling phone Lifeline on 13 11 14.
Madeline Link
Madeline Link is a journalist at the Newcastle Herald, with a focus on Lake Macquarie City Council. To keep up with my stories, follow my Twitter @madeline_link, for tips email madeline.link@newcastleherald.com.au.
Madeline Link is a journalist at the Newcastle Herald, with a focus on Lake Macquarie City Council. To keep up with my stories, follow my Twitter @madeline_link, for tips email madeline.link@newcastleherald.com.au.
