Feature | How do you say thank you for the ultimate gift of life

Every year hundreds of Australians struggle with this very thought, perhaps as often as every day. How could you possibly thank a stranger that you will never meet, a stranger that is responsible for every heart beat, every breath, and every pulse of blood, every day for the rest of your life?

Donate Life week is a time for every organ recipient to pause and reflect on that selfless act, and the respective individuals behind the greatest gift of all

It also acts as a reminder for those of us still here about what we can give once we are gone.

This week the Leader caught up with four lucky local organ recipients, and a family that in their darkest hours chose to find hope in helping others.

“In our darkest, saddest time, it gave us hope.”

Like all recipients the Donald family’s story also started with a phone call, although, unfortunately there was anything but good news on the other end.

Son, brother, and father, David had been hit by a car crossing a Sydney road. Shortly after doctors declared that he had no brain activity.

Dave’s sister, Ali Bath, is a teacher at Peel High and said that while they were never pressured or rushed, “it was always something we wanted to do right from the start.”

That decision was made even easier when it was discovered that in Dave’s wallet his license showed that he had chosen to be a donor.

“It gave us great comfort to know that someone else might get to live – we knew there was no hope for us, but that there might have been hope for some other families,” Mrs Bath said.

Two recipients received double transplants – one his “heart of a bull” and liver, and the other his kidney and pancreas, while a third recipient took the other kidney.

“We had to forgo being by Dave's side as he died as his heart needed to still be beating in order for the retrieval to be a success, however this was ok. We knew that another person out there would potentially be able to live due to our Dave, and that a part of him would always live on - his big heart would keep beating for someone else.”

Not long after the family began to receive letters from all three recipients, and while “it is always bitter sweet”, the letters continue to bring great comfort.

“We get sent photos and letters of all the things that they can now do because of Dave – it is really special,” Mrs Bath said.

“We always have a laugh because they probably get the occasional uncontrollable urge to have a schooner, a chat, and a laugh in the local pub, but it is nice to know that a little bit of him lives on – especially the heart – somewhere it beats on.” 

“On the worst day of their life, in that sort of grief, they made the decision to help someone else – I can’t even begin to understand that.”

In 1990 Steve Gribben hit a Newcastle parlour for a tattoo, what he wasn’t banking on was contracting Hepatitis C, and eventually needing a donor liver to save his life.

“Hepatitis C wasn’t really heard of back then, so in 1992 when the doctor told me it was a death sentence I thought it was bullshit. But it almost was,” Mr Gribben said.

In 2013 Mr Gribben was told to “stop working or stop breathing”, and was put on the transfer list the following year.

“For 18 months every phone call had us jumping,” Mr Gribben said.

“At the same time you know when that call comes that someone has died, but if it doesn’t come you are going to die – it is a really bitter sweet feeling.” 

Just like Craig, Steve also had two “dry runs”, although in one week, but three months later it was the real deal.

“After the two false starts I thought I had missed out and started planning my funeral, but on January 23 2016 it all happened,” he said.

“It made a huge difference to how I felt instantly.” 

Mr Gribben’s thoughts turned instantly to the donor, and their family.

“I had all that time to think about what I would say in the letter, it took me over 50 drafts and five months – how do you say thanks for letting me live.” 

Mr Gribben is hoping his actions can speak louder than words, advocating for Donate Life, volunteering with Hepatitis Australia, and a range of other organisations.

“I have been given this gift, the least I can do is use it to help other people – I just want the donor family to know that their loved one is now helping lots of other people as well.” 

“It is an unreal feeling to be given the gift of life. I get to spend time with my wife, see my son turn 21 – it has a ripple effect on everyone you know. I am a good story, but there are lots who aren’t.”

At the age of four Craig Lee was diagnosed with asthma, although as time went on his condition worsened, until 12 years ago at the age of 34 he was told he had ten years to live.

Take a deep breath: Craig Lee was on death's door before he received a double lung transplant, now every breath is sweeter than the last thanks to an organ donor. Photo: Gareth Gardner

“That was a hard hit. I was in the prime of my life but just couldn’t breath, and now I had a death sentence,” Mr Lee said.

Eight years and countless hospital stays later Mr Lee was re-diagnosed with Alpha 1 Antitrypsin deficiencies, a genetic disease that causes emphysema. Two years later he was on the transplant list for a double lung transplant.

Two years ago, after two “dry runs” where the donor lungs were deemed not suitable at the last minute, another infection saw his name taken off the list as being too unwell for the surgery.

He fought back once more, and was put back on the list, just 24 hours later the phone rang.

“It was a myriad of feelings between nervous and excited – on the other side of the coin it is really emotional because you know someone has just died,” Mr Lee said.

“When I woke up that first breath was the best I have ever felt in my entire life.” 

“I haven’t brought myself to write to the donor family yet. I just can’t put it into words.”

“Every day I only wake up because of another person and the decision they and their family have made.”

If there was ever a family that know the importance of organ donation it is Joe and Leonnee, and their son Levi.

Ms Pinchen-Martin was diagnosed with peri-partum cardiomyopathy when she was 21 years old, having to live day to day until in 2012 Ms Pinchen Martin received the life-saving phone call.

Meanwhile the family had been rocked to find out that husband Joe was suffering from end stage kidney disease, although after six years of daily dialysis, last month Mr Stolker received a kidney, and despite not being out of the woods yet, looks set to make a full recovery and return home to Tamworth soon.

Unfortunately the family has recently found out that Ms Pinchen-Martin’s condition is genetic, and that one day young Levi will also most likely have to rely on the kindness of a perfect stranger, although for Leonnee every day since her transplant has been a gift.

“The most important thing organ donation means for me is family, it provided me with the opportunity to continue raising my son,” she said. I hope I get many many more years with him, and with Joe. Every extra day I have with them is all all thanks to my donor, their family and their incredible gift.”