Two weeks ago Joe Stolker cancelled his upcoming 30th birthday party.
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The Tamworth father had suffered a sleepless night pondering just how much longer he had left on this earth, but just 24 hours later he received an early present through a phone call, it was the only one he wanted, and the only one he needed.
On the other end was an organ donor nurse who explained to him that after ten years of end stage renal disease, a matching donor kidney had been found.
“I was absolutely speechless – in complete shock. The nurse had to ask me if I was alright,” Mr Stolker said.
That was at 4pm in Tamworth. By 10pm that night he was being prepped for surgery at Newcastle’s John Hunter Hospital, and despite the surgery being pushed back to the following day, and after a few “minor hiccups” the donor organ took and Mr Stolker’s life had changed forever, again.
“It was and is absolute relief,” he said.
“I could instantly feel myself feeling better, if that makes sense.”
That hauntingly restless, yet serendipitous night, marked the conclusion of six years of daily dialysis, of being dependent on a machine, of being unable to swim with his son, fall asleep on the couch, eat his favourite foods, take an impromptu trip away, or even stay late at a friends house or the pub.
Until that night Mr Stolker, his partner Leonnee Pinchen-Martin and their six year old son, Levi, had endured 19,710 hours of dialysis, 4380 hours of setting it all up, and changed the dressing on his stomach catheter 2190 times.
“It feels amazing to be able to leave the dialysis behind,” Mr Stolker said.
“I was exhausted, starting to wear thin and fighting to survive – I didn’t think I had too many years left and was pushing myself so hard.”
While the birthday party might have to be postponed while he spends another four weeks in a clinic, there is an even bigger party to plan now.
Amazingly Ms Pinchen-Martin is also a donor recipient after receiving a heart transplant in 2012.
“We have been together for 12 or 13 years, and after everything that happened to her, and then me, we decided to put off getting married until we were both in a position to enjoy the day and the night,” he said.
“It was something to aim for, and now it is happening.”
While the big day is now on the horizon, it is actually the little things that Mr Stolker is looking forward to the most, including going back to work in the finance department of JT Fossey.
“I am pretty keen to get my life back. Go back to work with much better energy levels. I have already been looking at gym memberships from hospital,” he said.
While the Tamworth family are all smiles as they look to the future, they will never forget the amazing gift.
“It is a double edged sword,” Mr Stolker said.
“It is fantastic for us, but our win is someone else’s loss. I have to take a moment to somehow absorb that, and spare a thought for the other family that are grieving.”
While the donor and recipient families are always kept anonymous from each other, letter writing is encouraged through the Donate Life organisation.
“It is on the top of my list of things to do, but there is so much that I want to say, I don’t know how I am going to include it all and absorb it myself,” he said.
“It is an amazing gift to be an organ donor, and I will always remember that